The 100 Percent True Story Of Eugenie In A Bottle
by Ricks Lil Taterchip
Summary: A major music producer comes to one of Eugene's concerts. What will happen next? PARODY SO PLEASE DONT QUESTION LOGIC!
1. Chapter 1

••TWD PARODY••

It was a long hard day at Alexandria for Rick, after all being an amazing leader is hard work. Rick went into his house all sad looking. Michonne notices this.

"What's wrong my lil RickyRoo?", she asked chopping vegetables with her katana. Rick looked at her.

"This is just me face.", he reminded her. Judith started fussing .

"Awe, she's taking after her father", Carol cooed.

"Yea, Shane really could've used a snickers when he walked this earth.", Daryl grunted.

"JUDIF IS MUH KID!", Rick screamed.

"Of course.", Maggie mumbled shaking her head.

Carl picked up Judith resuming his one true purpose in life, tending to his half sister.

"I made cookies!", Carol exclaimed.

"Yay, diabetes.", Daryl grunted.

"Durl, do you ever take a bath?", Abe asked.

"Of course.", Daryl grunted. "I'm just naturally greasy, and for some reason all Fangirls wanna get with my dirty self rather than ya'll clean folk." Everyone stared at him.

"Tonight is the "Eugenie In A Bottle" Concert.", Abe claimed "I'm his biggest fan."

"We're all gonna go cause I said so, and I'm the leader SOOO yeh!", Rick said.

Everyone cheered except for Daryl who grunted with glee.

"Everyone needs an apple before we go.", Carol said soccer momishly. She tried to give Maggie an apple. "Since ur prego u need dis apple."

Maggie karate chopped the apple out of Carol's hand.

"To hell with your tree fruits, crazy grandma!", she screamed. Everyone nearly crapped their pants. All of the sudden Hershel descended from the sky in a white gown holding a harp.

"Control your people, Rick", he sang in fab harmony. Hershel left and Maggie had an intense emotional breakdown.

"I can't handle seeing my father again!", she cried dramatically falling into Glenn's noodle arms that apparently can support her weight.

"Ok cool, let's go to that concert.", Tara suggested, and off they went.

•••At the concert•••

The Alexandria theater was packed. Everyone from miles came to see "Eugenie" preform. Even Negan who sat next to Abe and Maggie loudly eating popcorn.

"Listen you flabby sea unicorn, shut your circular eating hole!", Abe screamed violently. Sasha gasped.

"Omg Abe that's so hawt!", Sasha cried. They started making out intensely. Maggie gagged.

"Oh my Jesus, Glenn, these people are swallowing each other's faces! That's horrible!", she cried in disgust. Before Glenn could tell Maggie to calm her tits, the light dimmed, and Eugene walked out on stage in an outfit Miley Cirrus would wear. He began to sing.

"IF YOU WANT TO SURVIVE, THERE IS A BIG PRICE TO PAY. IM EUGENIE INNA BOTTLE, AND I WANNA LIVE ANOTHER DAY!", he sang while dancing around like a little girl. "EUGENIE INNA BOTTLE BABY, GOTTA RUB ME THE RIGHT WAY, HONEY!". Eugene's mullet started playing the flute and pretty soon the concert was over. Every one cheered, except for Daryl who grunted in discust. Negan started clapping intensely.

"I WANT HIM SIGNED TO MY RECORD LABEL!", he screamed. Everyone gasped

TO BE CONTINUED...

This is what happens when it's 10:59 and I have a "good" idea...


	2. Chapter 2

•••

A/N: I'm super excited to be writing chapter 2 of "The 100% True Story Of Eugenie In A Bottle" hope you laugh a little, I figured we all need a good laugh right about now, so enjoy. (This is definitely too soon, but this is good for me.)

•••

^and we're back^

Eugene gasped. "OMIGAWD, NEGAN?! HI! I DIDNT KNOW SUCH AN IMPORTANT PERSON WOULD COME TO THIS CONCERT!" Negan stood up and grinned.

"It's all everyone talks about now days, I just had to see for myself. And they were right, you really are fantastic.", he yelled to the stage. Eugene squealed like a little girl at a Hannah Montana concert. Maggie awkwardly looked over at Abe.

"Hey Abe? How come no one told me and you about Negan being a producer?", she questioned. Abe shrugged.

"They probably thought we would do something to ruin Eugene's chances. Can ya believe that?", he laughed.

"As if!", Maggie exclaimed pretending to be offended. She accidentally knocked over her Coke , that spilled on some conveniently placed wires that controlled the lighting, so the whole building caught on fire and everyone had to be evacuated.

^Outside^

"DAMMNN MAGGIE, BACK AT IT AGAIN RUINING EVERYTHING!", Aaron yelled trying to be a meme lord. This only upset her.

"A-a-Ron is right, I do mess everything up!", Maggie cried clinging to Glenn, who looked pissed off at the world because people wouldn't stop tormenting his very hormonal wife who cried over everything during that point int time.

"This is why you eat your apples, Margaret!", Carol scolded.

Abe frowned at Aaron.

"HOW DARE YOU DISRESPECT THE PANCAKE QUEEN?!", Aaron curled up into a balled and rolled to Eric.

Eugene and Negan walked over to Rick. "Rick, Negan is offering us 47 cans of spaghetti O's if we all go on tour with him!", Eugene was extremely happy. Rick didn't even hesitate.

"Spaghetti O's you say? Hell yeah! We're in!", Rick said signing a contract Negan handed him that he didn't bother to read because Spaghetti O's, that's why.

"Awesome, now I just need the keys to your RV and your right kidney, and all of your group and you can be on tour with Eugenie and I.", Negan said calmly.

"Wait what?!", Rick started. "Why the hell do you need my RV keys?"

"For a tour bus, Le dur.", Negan answered. Rick shrugged.

"Works for me."

^one kidney later^

Mishonne and Rick were making out in the back of the "tour bus"

"Yep, I definitely feel like a celebrity.", Rick laughed.

"And all it took was an internal organ.", Carl mumble ashamed of his father. Carol randomly appeared out of nowhere.

"Does anyone want a cookie.", she asked.

"YASS!", everyone screamed (including Negan)

"Great, these are my super special no bake, gluten free, vegan, peanut oil, soy, cookies. Perfect for your average zombie apocalypse."

Everyone groaned.

Carol was intensely angered. She ninja rolled out of the RV. As she watched it drive out of view she plotted her revenge. Sweet, gluten free, vegan revenge.

•••

_To be continued_

•••

A/N: this was way to soon... Oh well I feel slightly better now.

~ Savvy

•••


End file.
